"... These words are my diary, screaming out loud. And I know that you'll use them however you want to..."

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

My First


This is my first attempt at blogging. I don't know what exactly sparked my interest in blogging. I am not much of a writer, nor do I think that anyone REALLY cares about what is going on in my sometimes tiny head. Right now, I blame it on the pregnancy hormones!


Some years, there are more firsts than others. 2009 marks a year of some very life changing firsts for us as a couple. My husband's first attempt at post secondary education since high school some 12 years ago! This is our first pregnancy, and also the completion of my first full year in my career.


Of course, the biggest change we are facing is the arrival of our first child, about 21 weeks from now. I remember that first pregnancy test. The positive result appeared in the "result" window before the "control" window even changed colours. So, just in case, I took another one an hour later. I then sat on the couch looking at the T.V for the next 2 hours with this ridiculous grin on my face , and my heart pounding in my throat, waiting for my hubby to come home from work. I'll never forget the look on his face; one of complete excitement, and a little bit of fear, as he managed to say "are we?" as he leaned over the bathroom counter to look at the two (very positive) pregnancy tests.


We have been pushing the idea of a baby aside for a couple of years now. We tried to have a baby a few years ago, with no success, and then other things started happening in our life that became more important. Things like careers, money, education. The money was always an excellent excuse because we were not "ready". We were also enjoying the idea of "just us" because, we know that when a baby arrives, we will never be alone again. We were actually preparing for the idea of our life, without children. We knew it would be one of those things that we would always wonder about, and we even talked about adoption. Most often, we would say that the "timing" is wrong. But, when those two pink lines appeared, the mind set changed.


We quickly realized that we would never really be "ready" to have children, rather the baby decided that we are ready. As I sit here, typing this post, wondering if that "tapping" I am feeling in my tummy is the baby, I realize that despite many factors, this is perfect timing.


"...Life doesn't wait for us to get it right, day after night
It just goes on, and when it goes wrong,
it goes, and then it's gone.
So I'm gonna do my best to make the most of it
avoid regrets, take a breath,
realize that time is irreversible
this ain't no dress rehearsal... "
- Troy Verges