"... These words are my diary, screaming out loud. And I know that you'll use them however you want to..."

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Dear lost follower...

So, I signed into my blogger this morning and I noticed that you had stopped following my blog. I can't say as though I am surprised, I was actually more surprised when you started following it in the first place. I didn't think you cared enough, and through e-mail correspondence you told me you followed my blog because you felt that it was "heart felt"... So what changed? I don't know what could me more heart felt than sharing the most intimate moments of my daughter's birth yesterday. Moments that we have held close to us until now.

SO, is the problem that pictures of my dead daughter make YOU uncomfortable?? If that is the case you need to put on your big girl panties and take a step into reality. Is the problem that you think my blog is too depressing for your little happy reality... GET OVER IT! "Life 'aint always what you think it ought to be. 'Aint even grey but she buries her baby"...

Last year, I wrote a post that referred to you. Perhaps you didn't realize it at the time (This same post also referred to someone else as well). You did this same thing to me last year, then begged to be my friend when my daughter died. Is the problem that I didn't let you in? What do you expect? YOU cut ME out of YOUR life last year. Then when tragedy struck, you thought you could waltz back in and be my friend. NO!! You don't get to use my daughter like that!!! I told you that you could feel free to read my blog and left it at that. I am so glad now that I didn't let you completely into my life. If I could block you, I would.

You say in a recent blog post of your own that you only want to be surrounded by people who grow and change. I don't know of two other people who have grown so much in one year as my dh and I. Perhaps you should look into the mirror and see how much you have grown since high school.

You know what? I am glad you've stopped following. I no longer have to consider you as I write my posts and comment on others blogs. Good bye to a "toxic friend" as Iris would say. Please don't come back, I promise I will not let you get close...at all...

*** I would like to place a note here. To the rest of my followers, please don't think that I would ever write this about any of my BLM friends and understanding listeners who decide that they need to move on from reading my blog. This was a "special case", and a person who is manipulative and caustic. I am pissed off, and I feel stupid for ever letting this person read my blog in the first place. I should have known better. Peace to all***


  1. I feel the same way about lots of people...sigh...hugs!

  2. If someone can't take you at your worst, they don't get to have you at your best either.

  3. Same as above, it's all or nothing.

  4. That is why I go out of my way to not let people around me know about my blog...they can't handle it and don't belong there. I try to spare myself as much grief and aggravation as possible... Hugs...hope all is going well. drop a line when you get a chance.

  5. I know the person you refer to and she is still on mine I have no idea why ! She thinks I am a bad person. No I may not live up to her 'standards' but I live my life the best I can and don't drag people down around me with my toxicness (sp) ...I am glad you shared a percious gift with us and you deserve to share her ..She is and was a perfect angel!

  6. You are correct...I tried to make amends. I tried to smooth things over...if not to be friends then to at least not be enemies. You did not accept it for what it was so I walked away. Everything was fine until about a week ago when someone close to you both advised me that you have done nothing but bad mouth me and call me down...still...a year later. I have tried to be the better person, but you can't work with people that want nothing more than someone to hate. If that is what I am for you guys then that is great. You continue to bring it back to your child...it has nothing to do with that and I think underneath you know that but need someone..anyone...to hate and to blame. I am sorry this is the path you are on. It gets better with time. Until then, please stop writing about me. I feel like I am being harrassed. This is my last contact to you...reaching out to ask you to stop this nonsense.

  7. Shannon- I didn't think you were following me anymore... ??
    I am glad you have made all your own assumptions without contacting me... And it is too bad that you feel two vague posts that did not mention who you were make you feel as though you are being "harrassed".

    And DO NOT tell me it gets better with time. You have no idea of the hell I have been through or where I am at now. Losing a parent is not the same as losing a child and I pray that you will never learn this. I agree to some degree.. it is different.. not better.

    oh and hate is too strong of a word and takes far too much energy...

    So... goodbye...

    Oh, and don't worry. I no longer want to know you, so I won't be writing about you any longer.

  8. AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!