Christmas thanks!

Thanks to some great friends I now have my Christmas tree up and partially decorated. We left some ornaments off the tree for my husband to put on when he gets home from school next week, including the angel topper. Baby G and I would like to thank my buds Iris & Mr. Big, over at My life in purple, and Mrs.Lovely & her hubby at the Ideologies of Melissa, for their help and company last Saturday night. Good friends truly make Christmas brighter <3

Who will she be?

I had another appointment last week with the specialist. Everything is still the same, except she has grown! (Imagine that!) They estimated that she weighs roughly 3 pounds and is currently enjoying her breech position with her feet in front of her face (oh to be that flexible!). The specialist took some 3D and 4D pictures, as you can see. I came home from my appointment and immediately posted them on my Facebook account. Since then, I have heard ALL about, is who she looks like. The doctors first said that she looks like me, my hubby's family thinks she looks like him, and my family thinks she looks like them.
I am not sure who she looks like, and I often wonder who she will be. What will she do? Where will she go? Will she prefer meat and potatoes like her Dad? Or, enjoy her veggies like me? Or perhaps a little of each on her plate? I hope that she is ambitious, tolerant, happy, tough and sensitive (according to the situation), and most importantly, ___________ (<- insert her name here- to be revealed later!).

When the weather is not so fair...

I feel the need to write, or is it vent? I am feeling hurt, and disappointed by a few people in my life.

You see, I think I have discovered who my true friends are. I knew well before hand, however, there are some people in my life who have disappointed me. Mostly with their level of selfishness, self-centeredness, and apparent disregard for me, my feelings, and the new family on the way.

I recently discovered, much to my dismay, that I had been "de-friended" by a "friend" on Facebook. This person, I thought was a friend of mine. When this was discovered, I initially thought that maybe it was a "glitch" in the Facebook system. Then, I saw this person last week, and they did not even look at me, but rather continued walking and pretended as though I did not wave at them, or yell "Hi ____". Now, I understand "through the grape-vine" that this person may have other "issues" however, it still sucks. I try to be sympathetic, but it appears that this person does not even want to "know" me, and to my knowledge I didn't even do anything!!! Can you imagine if I had "wronged" this person in some way?!

I have also found myself under attack recently, and I now feel that this relationship is damaged. I don't know how to repair it, and I really don't think the other person wants to. I have had encounters with this person since, and one recently where I felt like I was given the cold shoulder, and this individual was aloof. It makes for awkward situations and me walking away wondering what I did wrong. This one really hurts, because this person was really close to me, and now I wonder if something happened, if the person would even care?

The idea of people turning their backs breaks my heart, but I also realize that sometimes there is no way to save the sinking ship. Sometimes, you just have to learn, and move on.

While working away this afternoon, preparing the baby's room, and organizing the clutter, I heard this song on the satellite radio. I was raised around music, and I find that regardless of where you are in your life, there is always a song that speaks to you. This one spoke to me today. At a time in my life when I am so thankful for the angels around me, you know who you are, that I know I can lean on for support. These are people who would
"..never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'its way too far', they just show on up, with their big 'ol heart... when the water's high, or the weather's not so fair..." (Please excuse the cheesy video, but it was the only decent version I could get on youtube on a empty stomach!)

As noted in my last post, the weather in my life right now is not always fair, I am so thankful there are people who will help me navigate the storms.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EL7SY061sQ&feature=PlayList&p=81E72F3BC68176D3&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=36

Fatigue with a chance of clouds...

I'm tired, and I'm having a hard time accepting it. I am now 27 weeks pregnant and the fatigue I am feeling is comparable to the first 10 weeks! My best bud over at My Life in Purple put it quite plainly this morning "I would be tired too if I was carrying around a whole other person, who was beating me up from the inside". I am usually awake every two hours at night, and even though I am no longer working, my days are full. You see, I have the baby's room to set up, two closets to organize, a desk to sell and a guest room to prepare all before the baby makes her grand entrance into the world. Then, when you put Christmas festivities in the middle of it all, there really is not a lot of time left.

I also have other things on my mind. It is like a cloud that occasionally blocks the sun on a "chance of clouds day". Last Monday, the specialist called with the results of the blood work. It appears that I am virus free, which sparked a small celebration. I reveled in that glory for a day and really felt that the blood work to test for the Cystic Fibrosis gene would come back negative. The call came on Tuesday afternoon, when the specialist candidly told me that both my husband and I carry the gene for Cystic Fibrosis. When the blood work is combined with the fact that she has an "echogenic bowel", she told me that the odds of our daughter having CF was greater than 50%. So now, we have more appointments, more ultrasounds and she will be born in a facility with a NICU. We will also be referred to the CF team at the IWK in Halifax, and a pediatrician. I have refused an amniocentesis, since it will not change anything, and the procedure itself scares the crap out of me. It is reassuring that the doctors are taking all of the proper precautions, and my hubby and I are trying to focus on the fact that she has a 40%+ chance that she will not have CF.

It is not the disease itself that scares me. The disease is manageable, and she should have a normal quality of life. It is the fact that she may be sick, and there is nothing I can do to help. I know that she'll get lots of love to compensate...

Wordless Wednesday

A dedication

...For my hubby, this sums "us" up! I love you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmuqORloBJw

Wordless Wednesday...

I found this on post-secret and found it applies to the lost relationships in my life... both friends and family...