"... These words are my diary, screaming out loud. And I know that you'll use them however you want to..."

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Not so wonderful Wednesday...

I'm going to be away from the blog world for a while, maybe forever..we'll see. You see, yesterday, we lost our little girl at 36 weeks +5 days. We sure did love her while we had her, and all we know is that her heart just stopped. We don't know why, and really, any reason they give us will not make us feel any better, or bring her back. This is still VERY fresh..it has been just over 12 hours.. and the next few days will be hell as she is "delivered" into a world that she was obviously not meant for. We knew she may have been sick, but I guess there was no way to know just how sick she really was.
I am not an overly "religious" person, but something is needed right now..maybe prayers?..maybe just thoughts?..I don't know where "God" lies in all this, or why she was "taken" from us. I say "taken" because she was ours...we knew her..we loved her..we named her..she was ours...and now we have to say good bye to her. I hope she didn't suffer...I hope she knows how much she was wanted and loved.

Again...there is a song for every life moment. I know that I will hear this one for a long time...

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today

Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder, what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again someday

-Kenny Chesney "Who you'd be today"


  1. I love you so much, more than I can ever put into words.

  2. I am so so sorry!!! My heart aches for you, and I will be thinking of you!

  3. She will alway be our granddaughter and like you we will always love her wonder what could have been. All our love and thoughts are with you and Scott and we are grieving with you. We will be here for you and there when you need us.

    all our love

    Mom & Dad