"... These words are my diary, screaming out loud. And I know that you'll use them however you want to..."

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Sunday Covet




I am going to attempt to give a virtual tour of our little one's room today.
We FINALLY got the crib yesterday, so my hubby and I had the adventure of setting it up. It really wasn't hard, but it took an extra set of hands at times. I am thrilled with the result. The crib is beautiful, and the rest of the nursery isn't bad either!
We decided that we were not going to go broke trying to "co-ordinate" our nursery, so you will notice that nothing "matches". We don't care, and we are sure the baby won't even know the difference. Besides, if everything matches, how is she supposed to learn her colours? ;)
Not featured in today's post is the bedding, as I am putting that on hold for a week before I order it. There is also a swing that is on "loan" from friends of ours, and a playpen/bassinet that has been moved to our bedroom since it will probably be used the most in there. You should also note, the walls are actually a slate grey colour, not the blue that it seems to show in the pictures. All that is left is some "wall art", and of course, a baby!
Sundays usually kind of suck, since it is on Sundays that my hubby leaves and goes back to school for the week. I have been so fortunate to have him home for the last two weekends in a row, and to have his help with all this. I know that this was important to him to. I miss him through the week, but it is so nice to have him home! So today, Happy Sunday everyone!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Fab Friday!


Well, I can't honestly say that I'm FEELING fabulous today, but rather I'm absolutely exhausted. Therefore, I will not be posting a picture of myself today since I am sure that doing so will only offend some, and break my camera!
However, while shopping in the U.S yesterday with Melissa & Derek (from over at The Ideologies of Melissa), Derek found this. I think it is absolutely FABULOUS!!!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Changes


Well, once again, we are changing our minds! My wonderful husband came home from school this past weekend and made a suggestion for a different middle name for our little girl. Well, the more I said it, the more I liked it. So I think, that despite my previous predictions, it is the middle name that may change, not the first name!
Also, I stumbled into JC Penny online (we do not have JC Penny here in Canada), and found this! However, I am waiting until after my baby shower before I make any further purchases. Besides, I will love anything I see right now :P

Sunday, January 24, 2010

A roller coaster ride, and a baby shower.


I'm thinking that maybe an actual "baby status update" may be in order. The last few weeks have been a roller coaster of appointments, and highs and lows.

Two weeks ago, we met via video conference with the Genetics team at IWK. I actually was under the impression that we were meeting with the Cystic Fibrosis team, and therefore was prepared for a talk about CF. The Genetics team did their best to tell us about CF, but then went into the Genetics aspect of it. When it was all over, and we were walking away from the hospital, my husband looked at me and said "So, we'll go ahead and book a vasectomy?". They said that they would "be very surprised if the bright bowel seen on the ultrasound, is caused by anything other than CF". You see, my hubby and I carry the most common mutation for CF called delta-F-508 (neither one of us have the disease). They figured that our daughter will likely be "pancreatic insufficient", meaning that her pancreas will not work properly and she will need enzymes to digest food properly, she MAY develop diabetes in the second generation of life, and then there is the respiratory side as well. They talked as though she already had the disease, and told us her odds of having it are over 90%. My mind was so full after this appointment, and I really was not sure what to think, but I would classify it as a "low".
Later that week, we went to see the specialist. She did the ultrasound check up and said that the bowels look good (no malformations or obstructions yet), and they were still a "teeny bit bright". Our "little girl" is estimated to weigh 5lbs 9 oz already (at 33 weeks gestation). The "high" of this appointment was when she said "If I didn't know your history, or what I was looking for, I would not think there is anything wrong." We took this "high" in stride and we try not to dwell too much on it, for fear that it may lead to a big let down later.
Last week, we had a video conference meeting with the CF team at IWK. They told us a lot of things we already knew and discussed how the possibility of her having the disease effects the "paths" we may take after delivery. She may be fine, and we may bring her home and just wait for the call to find out the results of the genetic testing of her cord blood. If the tests reveal that she has CF, we will then pack her up and take her to Halifax for therapies and education for us on how to deliver the therapies. There is also the possibility that she may have a bowel problem at birth, which may require her to be flown to IWK for surgery/treatment. We are hoping that this does not happen, but knowing it could happen, takes some of the fear out of the unknown. In the event she has to have surgery, she could be in Halifax for 2-3 weeks. They put her odds of having CF at 98% (when our genetic profile is combined with the "bright bowel"). Yet, another "low".
Whatever happens, I think we are as ready as we can be. I've read the literature, I've met with the doctors, counsellors and other people "in the know". So now, (as you may be able to tell from my most recent posts), I am enjoying the "fun stuff". Like organizing the nursery, setting up furniture, and some quiet time with myself, my hubby and friends. I am so excited that my BF over at "My life in Purple" is hosting a baby shower for me two weeks from now! And Melly over at "The Ideologies of Melissa" is helping out as well. We are really looking forward to this afternoon, and another "high". :)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

ohhhhhh, what a feeling!!!


Well, I signed into the "blog world" this morning to discover that I have won an award! :) My best bud over at "My life in purple" awarded me with the Happy 101 award. Now, apparently, in order to accept this award I have to list the 10 things that make me happy. So, here it goes!

1. Time with my husband. It is something I miss, especially now that he is away at school. He comes home (on average) once every other week. It is temporary, and we are through the worst of it, but I know that the next few months will be challenging for both of us with the arrival of our daughter. I love you, I miss you and I'm so proud of you.

2. Girl dates with my "Iro". My best bud over at "My life in purple" has been my life saver these past few months! She's a great friend, and more like a sister. Whenever we get together, or talk, it is a guarantee that there will be a laugh or two. Thanks for the award, and thanks for being there!

3. Phone talks with Melly over at "The ideologies of Melissa", and I should also mention the shopping excursions! We usually have such good chats! :)

4. The idea that I will meet my daughter at some point within the next 5 weeks! Regardless of the challenges we may face (with the possibility of her having CF), I know that she will bring such joy!

5. The thought of putting a deck on our house and finishing our basement. It will be so nice when our home is "complete".

6. I know it is hard to believe, but my job. I love my job and I miss my job. I worked very hard to get my job, and even though I am happy to be home for (potentially) the first 15 months of my daughter's life, I know that I will be eager to return to work.

7. The care and concern of our families at this time. We are confident that we can handle whatever is thrown at us, but your support makes it easier!

8. I know it is lame, but my cats. They have been my "company" and my "family", especially during my last 2 months at home. They can't actually talk to me, but having them follow me room to room, sleep with me at night, and hearing them moving around, makes this empty house feel a little less "lonely".

9. Jogging/Running... I REALLY miss it. I am actually jealous of those people I see out running. I am eager to return to my "hobby"; for both the high it gives me and the time it gives me for myself. I love how "well adjusted" I feel after a nice run.

10. Right now, anything "baby"! I have been told that I am "nesting", which I believe is true. I'm not going to deny it, I feel the need to clean, organize and set up. I DO NOT feel the need to cook (especially since many foods do not settle well in my stomach since the baby now resides where my stomach used to be!). Nobody said "nesting" included cooking!

So, those are the 10 things that make me happy. Well, there are actually MANY other things that make me happy, and I had no problem coming up with these 10! The fact that I received this award makes me happy! :)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Risk

I saw this for the first time today. I loved the opening quote...

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see"

I feel that statement sums up what is going on with our little one right now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWLebRKuEIQ

(for some reason I am not able to add the link at this time... blogger is not allowing me, or I can't figure it out! :s ..most likely the latter!)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Maybe I should just stop looking :s




Well, I found more sets, thanks to e-bay, maybe I should just stop looking :s I think I like the red one with the checkered borders..but I love comments and input too :) (Especially from those "in the know"! )
P.S... "Purple"- you know which one is for you! :) But (unfortunately) it is WAY out of my price range, but one can always dream!

The Dilemma continues...


So, as you have seen, I have a little dilemma on my hands. I have found two beautiful bedding sets. The red and pink, "L is for Ladybug" requires me to have a US address and corresponding credit card to order :( So it looks like that one is "out". The green and purple one IS Canadian made, but I am not able to get all of the items depicted in the picture. I REALLY wanted the mobile and wall hangings, but they are not available. I even asked the company if I could trade out the bumper pads (since you are not supposed to use them anyway) and valances for the mobile and wall hangings but they said they do not supply them and the "bundles" can not be opened.
There is one last hope... there is this one that is on my registry from Sears. So final opinions please? :) Should I go Green and Purple, or Pink and Brown?

Monday, January 11, 2010

Dilemma!


Augh... after finding a beautiful nursery set online yesterday, I came upon this one this evening. It is made in Canada (to support Canadian business!) and is not as "pink" as the other set. Hmmm... which to choose!?!?! Please compare with the picture on yesterday's post and let me know what you think! :)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

A Sunday Covet


OMG OMG OMG...
I just found this on the U.S. Walmart website and my heart stopped!! I absolutely love this, and I think a cross-border shopping trip is required!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Hormones...


Today's post was something I received from a friend of mine through e-mail. I thought it was "blog-worthy" and should be shared.

** I should also add that this guide and definitions apply to mood swings experienced during pregnancy**

__________________________________________________________________________________
The Hormone Guide
Women will understand this!
Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS

What's for dinner?
Are you wearing that?
What are you so worked up about?
Should you be eating that?
What did you DO all day?

SAFER

Can I help you with dinner?
You sure look good in brown!
Could we be overreacting?
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
I hope you didn't over-do it today.

SAFEST
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Wow! Look at you!
Here's my paycheck.
Can I get you piece of chocolate with that?
You know I always loved you in that robe!

ULTRA-SAFE

Here, have some wine.
Here, have some wine.
Here, have some wine.
Here, have some wine.
Here, have some wine.


14 Things PMS Stands For

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

13. Potential Murder Suspect

And, Finally, the "pearl of wisdom" definition from my BF over at my life in purple:

14. "Princess Mental Syndrome"

Saturday, January 2, 2010

From my broken heart...


Dear _______,

I have to say I am hurt. Really hurt. I am upset that you are making me feel like this. Making me cry. You were SUPPOSED to be my friend, and as a friend, I thought that maybe you could offer support when WE need it. Instead, I feel you have turned away, into your own world.

I miss YOU. The OLD you. The person I met about 4 years ago, who could laugh, be silly and who cared. The person who took the initiative and tried to establish a friendship. The person who, I believed, cared about me too. I believe that this "old you" would care about me, my baby, my husband, and some of the things that we are facing together.

Things have changed in our lives over the past year, and I assumed that we would be able to go through these changes together. Me/Us supporting you, and you supporting US. That is right, there is an US now. It is not just my husband and I anymore.

The last few months have made me feel like I am no longer a priority in your life. You have not called, unless you want something. You have not e-mailed, except for once, only to prove that you are "the better person" and to make me feel like shit. I told you that our baby MAY be sick, you didn't even give me a hug, nor did you offer any support. Rather you nodded, coldly, and then changed the subject.

You can't tell me that you don't know what WE are facing. That is right, "WE", as my husband is experiencing the same things. I know I have told you. I just don't think you care. You see, I don't think it benefits you, therefore, you have distanced yourself.

If you (possibly) think that you just don't know how to ask about the pregnancy, or me, or Cystic Fibrosis, then you need to grow up. Life will throw adversity your way, the trick is learning not to blink as you stare it in the face.

I have made the decision that I really do not like this "new person" you have become. The type of person who seems so cold, serious, and dark. Where did the sparkle go from your eyes? Where did the warmth go from your hug?

I am upset, slightly angry but mostly, just hurt. I feel like you abandoned us. Me, My husband, and the baby on the way. Call me "hormonal", or call me selfish, but this is one of the few times in my life where I am learning how to accept help and support, rather than always giving it. Where are you? I just hope someday that you re-discover that old you, and when that time comes, I hope that you still have people in your life who will support you, no matter what. I know I really value those who are supporting US right now.

Sincerely,

My broken heart